My life has not always happened the way I wanted it to. I did not plan on being sick for the better part of my youth and I damn sure did not expect to feel the way I do most of the time emotionally. I have a strong will, but it can be broken at times. Life has thrown me a ton of bricks and knocked me down and each time I have managed to pick myself back up, but enough is enough!
I pray for the answers I seek, I pray for the resolution, I pray for the life I dream of, I pray for the happiness I deserve, I pray for peace. Sleepless nights and endless days of pain drain my hope and faith. Echoes of spiteful words and heartless actions consume my world around me. No one hears my cries or feels my pain, the guilt runs deep through my veins. It poisons all my good intentions and renders me broken. I want to scream out and fade away. I yearn for the life I want and the solitude I seek. My soul cries out for happiness and bliss.
I see the distance on their faces and the scrutiny of their actions. They can not walk in my shoes, but if they could they would feel as I do now. They could feel the daggers penetrating my every limb, when there is no wound to see. They could feel the fiery sting throughout my body, when there is no burns. They could feel the tortuous cramping through every part of my fiber, when there shouldn't be. They could feel the piercing pain in my head, when there is no injury to justify it. They could feel the burrowing of parasites in my every cell, when they should not be there. They could endure the fear that sweeps over me. They could feel the uncertainty of life that plagues me. They could feel the unjust I feel. They could feel to be me.
All I ask is to take heed to what I roar. Succumb to my existence, but do not pity me or weep for me. Lift me up with all your jubilance. Speak your words of faith and hope. Rise up to give a helping hand without conviction. Just make your exquisite presence known. Free your mind of prejudice that keeps you from seeing the agony before you. Open your mind to the possibility of what you can not fathom. Because it is genuine, whether you choose to see or not, it is there. You isolate the ones that reside in the abyss of malady. So I beseech you to conquer your ignorance and comprehend what you can not contemplate.
Take note of what you can attain from this calamity. Spread the awareness to support the cause. Help...do not be oblivious to it.
I will leave you with this...
“I shall pass this way but once; any good that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being; let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”
Etienne de Grellet (1773-1855);
Quaker Missionary
I had nowhere to turn, I had nowhere to go
Lost sight of my dream
Thought it would be the end of me
I, I thought I'd never make it through
I had no hope to hold on to
I, I thought I would break
I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength
Found hope in my heart
I found the light to life my way out of the dark
Found all that I need here inside of me
Oh, I thought I'd never find my way
I thought I'd never lift that weight
I thought I would break
I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
I didn't know my own strength
Survived my darkest hour, my faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength
There were so many times
I wondered how I'd get through the night
I thought I took all that I could take
I didn't know my own strength
And I crashed down and I tumbled, but I did not crumble
I got through all the pain
Oh, I didn't know my own strength
My faith kept me alive
I picked myself back up, I hold my head up high
I was not built to break
I didn't know my own strength
I was not built to break, no, no
I got to know my own strength
Read more: Whitney Houston - I Didn't Know My Own Strength Lyrics | MetroLyrics