Life has thrown another curve ball my way and brought me to my knees for guidance from above....
Life is precious and short.
In the blink of an eye...
a lifetime could pass you by..
everything can change...
So forgive often & love with all your heart...
You may never know if you will have the chance again
My heart is saddened from the loss. She was a very interesting woman and I loved to hear her stories. She would tell me all about her days as a child on the strawberry farm and her life up until Paw Paw had passed in 2004. The great adventures they took and the love of her family and church. I watched as her memory faded and she slowly forgot the things that meant so much to her. It was hard to watch my husbands family loose her that way.
In a day that brought such chaos from the icy weather, closed bridges, freezing rain, nurse coming, infusion and my picc line dressing coming off a beautiful soul was laid to rest and a fire lit in me.
I started out with bittersweet emotions finding out I had Lyme Disease. I was grateful for FINALLY having an answer but saddened at the grandeur of the disease. I struggled with the acceptance from close family and friends. Still till this day there are people in my life that do not wish to learn or acknowledge the depth of Lyme and its impact on my life. I moved past the bitterness and tried to focus on the healing. This is easier said than done. Things that were going on in my personal life and in my family at the time just broke me. My whole world ceased to exist as I knew it. Things had changed and my heart was broken, my dreams shattered.
(Kim, Kara, Deb & Jess I am forever grateful for your kindness & endless support <3)
I have described to my friends this experience that I had in a unique way. It was like being led to the water by the congregation for a cleansing of my soul, to be reborn. To be in the river and have my body thrust into the depths to wash away every bit of hurt and resentment that I carried with me. It was purifying and at the end everyone rejoiced in my new found empowerment.
My purpose and calling now is on healing my broken body and elevating my mind to utter peace. For the first time in my life I need to focus on ME. It is not about everyone else right now. This time...this time I need the help. I need the troops to rescue me. I do not seek your pity. I seek your wise words on your experiences, your words of encouragement, a helping hand when I can not get up on my own, an understanding that you don't understand how this feels and offer support regardless without judging me, I seek unconditional friendship and love.
I mean that only good is going to come from all that I am suffering and going to suffer. This disease has brought people from my past back into my life and started new friendships that will never be replaced or forgotten.
A beautiful story is unfolding right before my eyes and this roller coaster is going full speed ahead!
Hold on tight...it's going to be a bumpy ride!